Life’s a zoo

Milo is on an art strike

I almost gave Milo the finger the other day. I’m not proud. He was driving me crazy the whole day and I was trying to talk on the phone and I’d just about had it. In recent days I have broken down in tears on a few occasions because I am at such a parenting loss. He whines, he yells, he says mean stuff, he’s too rough with his brother. I would even say that he was acting like a belligerent drunk trapped in the bossy of a three year old. I’ve mentioned before that Milo is a persistent kid. This is mostly a good trait except when he’s trying on bad behaviors. He’s been practicing spitting when he didn’t like what he was being asked to do. I told him he would have to have a three minute time out in his room if he continued. What did he do? He looked at me and spit just to see if I would follow through. I did. He was shocked. He did it again, I followed through, more shock. It really sucks when your kid doesn’t like you. That’s a really hard place to be but I’m ok with that as long as he knows in his heart that its my job to protect him and teach him.

Day eighty-nine

And just when I was about to Google boarding school for preschoolers, we had the best day we’ve had in a long, long time. He slept in his own bed until the Toots and the Maytalls CD came on on the alarm clock in his room. There was no whining in the morning, there was no yelling, there was no walking away when it was time to get in the car, and he was gentle to his brother. He even accepted that we couldn’t find some tiny toy and said, “it’s ok, it’ll turn up.”  I love that boy. We made the day a special day and spent five hours at the zoo (maybe 3 more hours than I would have preferred), but hey, today was a great day.

Day ninety (why not a little hot pink?)

Day ninety-one

Day ninety-two

So now he’s sitting in the tub with every single bath toy he owns and I’m sitting on the toilet with the seat down trying to touch up the really poorly lit pictures I took of the last 30 days of work (there’s no hope, I’ll have to shoot them again) and we’re just relaxed. I have a tendency to make everyone around me crazy and tense when I feel out of control and that is the way I had been feeling, like I couldn’t help Milo and that I already ruined him and that nobody likes my kid or me (thanks stranger at the museum who said, “boy, he’s a handful”).

is this really my second baby orangutan reference?

One of the orangutans at the zoo just had a baby and after about fifteen minutes of a crowd staring through the glass, oohing and ahhing over her and the baby, she took a big white sheet and covered herself and the baby to nurse and nap. Oh how I can relate…These are the times when Jon gives me the proverbial smacking of the face and tells me to stop and that I’m fine and Milo’s fine. I have to remind myself that no one likes being watched all of the time and it can make any of us feel caged. Milo is the kind of kid who feels everything super intensely the kind of kid with a huge heart who just cried himself to sleep because the capybara at the zoo died. Love that boy.

Our first trade! Milo got some sweet kids napkins and a place mat.

On a lighter note…Come stare at me and my artwork at Kanon Collective on 7th and Santa Fe tomorrow night. I’ll be there after 7ish. Also, check out Slice on 44th and Tennyson. Our work is still up for First Friday.  Now’s your chance to snag a Milo monster before the under five set scoops them all up. And..if you’re up on Tennyson, stop by the Oriental Theater and check out some new paintings by Chris Smolik.


9 responses to “Life’s a zoo

  1. Oh Delanie, parenting is hard. You are a good person, and you think about things and what you do you do with good intentions. All will be well in the end.
    I am going to miss your blog when you are done with this project.

  2. fact: milo is such a unique lovable dude, and you are one of the most thoughtful levelheaded moms i have ever born witness to.
    fact: 3 and a half is a totally intense age, frustrating age.
    that is that.
    today serge crouched down, gritted his teeth and covered his face and yelled “oh my god!” into his hands. i immediately felt horrible assuming that he had picked that up from me somehow and beat myself up over it for a minute while comforting him and reminding him that it was alllll gooood. and reminding him that he can ask for help if he is frustrated Then I realized even if he did see me do this, (though i doubt i was crouching 😉 ) big deal. my kid knows i’m human, and i’m letting him know now that i am here for him when he is frustrated and in turn know he will be for me , right?
    sorry to rant.
    just a reminder all of us mamas feel ya.

    • just read my comment and it kinda didnt make sense, im tired. sorry. basically was trying to say that our kids are going to be thoughtful, kind, real people because that is the example they have in us. phew.

  3. It is our job to ruin our kids.
    Before we got to them they were just little blobs of human flesh who nursed and slept. Then we made them interesting.

  4. This post made me cry because I feel exactly the same way about my boys, especially Ben right now…and I’m totally sleep deprived and therefore extra emotional! You are such a great mom and Milo is a great kid. I wish I was as skilled as you are at so many things. I can’t think of skill I have that I can barter for a painting. For me the part of being a teacher that’s hard is seeing certain kids and worrying that that’s going to be your kid in a few years. Realistically, I don’t think either of us have anything to worry about. Your boys have discipline and a mom that cares about them and spends time with them…try not to beat yourself up about the little things.

    • Thanks for the nice words everyone! Jen, I think being a teacher and knowing so many kids with so many problems makes us that much more fearful for your own kids and I’m sure you have many talents and skills:) On a good note, Milo came in my room early this morning, tucked me into the covers and said, “don’t worry mom, you keep sleeping, I’ll go downstairs on my own.” Tears, he’s a really good guy.

  5. We are in the exact same place, EXACT. I feel ya sister 🙂 it’s kind of good to know it’s a three year old thing and we’re not alone in our parenting doubts and frustrations. Hang in there!

  6. Booyaka Booyakasha! I like 92 and the ones before it–neon=awesome 🙂

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