Why googling parenting advice might be dangerous

Last night just after dinner, we were spending a little family time in the living room when things went horribly awry. Jon and I were remarking about how bad Wyatt’s biting problem has become, especially since he’s kicked the paci. I decided to search my dear friend, the internet for advice. While googling, “how to stop baby from biting” Wyatt hauled off and bit me on the back of the leg. I reacted and jumped, sending my knee into a part of our fireplace that then fell to the ground like a guillotine and landed on the toes of my left foot. The baby fell backwards (totally unhurt) and Milo saw the whole thing. There was kind of a lot of blood and when I looked down at my big toe, it looked like it was giving me a thumbs up. I crawled into the bathroom and assessed the situation.  My poor baby was crying and I did only what a mommy does and wrapped my foot up and crawled back up the stairs for bedtime before my mom came to take me to the hospital.

The fireplace from my toes' point of view.

Well, it pays to know people. I was able to avoid paying a crazy ER bill (thank you Kaiser for providing me with such terrible insurance for such a terrible price!). My uncle is a podiatrist and we headed to Ft. Collins for a band-aid and a Vicodin. Honestly, it was actually quite nice to have two hours alone with my momma even with a bag of peas melting all over my foot and the dash board.

Milo was the one who reminded us that we needed a foot doctor. He was so damn sweet. telling me not to worry, that he would look after Wyatt. He even cleared the path for me on the way to the car. He woke up in the middle of the night to check on my bones. He’s going to make such a  good hubby some day.

I’ll just add this episode to the list of ridiculous accidents I’ve gotten myself into over the years. So far I’ve swallowed a quarter and had to have it removed, I broke my already sprained arm after being dropped while crowd surfing at a Radio Head show when I was 13 (don’t tell my parents) , I broke my finger the day before my wedding reception, I put an Xacto knife in my pocket at work and sliced my arm open to the bone in a school stairwell two minutes before the end of the day. Milo would call me  a  major clutzer. I would agree.



3 responses to “Why googling parenting advice might be dangerous

  1. Oh man, that stinks! Who knew fireplaces could be so dangerous? Does it make you feel better that I once did a cartwheel off a wall on a dare… and broke my arm before outdoor camp?

  2. Delanie, OMG. I am so sorry that happened to you! Dare we hope the ruckus scared him off biting?

  3. Good lord, I can totally picture this going down! This is such a horrible and comical chain of events. are you ok? Milo is a sweetie…

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