I drop the ball. I fall down. I get up. I try again. I never finished my 32 days. I fall asleep every night with an unfinished to do list and you know what? It is ok, I think. A very good friend of mine once told me that I could have it all, just not right now.
I have had a series of massive fails as of late and it is humbling. I typically manage pretty well and take care of business. Failure is humbling in that it reminds me that I must pay attention to my connections. If connections to people, ideas, my body are not mindfully cultivated, they fall away and fall away quickly. The connection I feel to the work that I have created over the past two years is immense. I thought that I was clearheaded about why I make art until I was sitting at a lecture at an art education conference and a woman said that creativity occurs within giving and receiving. I was floored. The statement was so simple. Connectivity through making, giving, and receiving on all levels is exactly what draws me to the creative process. I have always made work with a social message having to do with what people do for each other and I’ve found my spirituality in scientific theory about cellular and molecular connectivity. Energy, intention, and action from big to small is central to my creative process.
Now that I have this clarity in my work, I am ready to paint again. It is my goal to host a happening in which the viewer/participant determines the worth of pieces within a new body of work and in that creates a connection through the trade of goods, services or currency. The art is in the giving and receiving. All I need is a venue.
I am also ready to seek the same kind of clarity in my own world, my own interactions. I want to give and to receive in balance. Time to dust myself off and move forward. Who’s in?
Are you there blog? It’s me, Delanie. The last time I blogged was also the first day I went back to work. Coinsidence? I think not. I am slowly crawling out of the black hole that is teaching full time and parenting two very small children with a husband who is working his butt off to daddy, work, and go to school. Sheesh. It has been an adjustment for sure!
I think you forgot your books.
After helping 153 or so kids discover their creative potential, I am afraid I have little creativity left for myself. By the end of the night I seem to have just enough brain cells to read three pages of a book before it lands sqaurely on my nose and I am out cold until someone wakes up needing something or other. Sound familiar parents? I am not alone. This business is tough. Tough but good.
One of my fourth graders made this awesome brain! So many things to think about...
I don’t always get to see outright the rewards of parenting and for a bit I was questioning whether or not our philosophy of less stuff and more love was going to work and then…Milo went and did a super good guy thing.
My little entrepreneurs
On Sunday we went to sell some of our old clothes at Buffalo exchange (a hipster consignment-type shop). Milo wanted money to get a new bow tie or something or other but only had enough to play pacman. On the way home he saw more than a few people beggin on street corners with signs. He insisted that when he got home he would make a sign and stand on the corner so that he could get some money. We explained to him that he could not do tha because we have a home and money and we can work for things that we want. I suggested that he could have a hot cocoa stand if he wanted to earn some extra cash. He set it up and within an hour he had earned $5 (thanks Heather and Tom!). He was so pround of himself that he rushed upstairs and put the money in his piggy bank. We were already excited because he had decided to deposit his money the next day in his savings account. But something else happened.
After dinner the doorbell rang and a homeless man selling copies of the Voice was at the door. Just as I was shooing him away, Milo heard him say that he would accept loose change. Milo told the man to wait right there. He proceeded to empty his hard earned money out of his piggy bank and give it to the man. The gentleman told Milo thank you and that he would then be able to get a warm room for the night. That’s my boy, a giving heart at the age of four and a half.
It's time to make something...
Milo and Wyatt have got me thinking that giving is a beautiful thing and part of having a giving heart is giving something to one’s self every once in a while. Something that downright nourishes the soul. I have felt so underwater since July and I need to resurface. With a little momma TLC in mind, I am instating, “Make Something Mondays.” I am dedicating Monday evenings to taking care of myself and cooking up some creativity in the studio. I’ll do a little bloggin’ and let y’all know how it goes. What to make, what to make, mhmhmm.